Wedding of Verminious Snaptrap
by BluebirdSunflower
Summary: What happened between Brock's attack and the gang going to Africa
1. Snaptrap's announcement

The night of Brock's attack had occurred one week before Thanksgiving. Snaptrap got the idea to invite his and Mina's friends and family to D.O.O.M. headquarters (in his mom's basement) to make his big announcement. Las Banditas, his henchmen, his older siblings Matt and Pat, BirdBrain and his henchmen, the Chameleon, and Mina's estranged mother and little brother Thaddeus were all invited. Matt and Pat were coming, but it was to see their mother, not so much their little brother and sister Ceceilia. Finny, Mina's twin brother, and their dad Phillip could not be reached to be invited. Mina's mother Britney insisted she and her youngest son had other plans, but apparently the young rat had a rebellious side.

Around one in the afternoon on Thanksgiving day, Snaptrap answered a knock at the door. "FINNY!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms around his friend in a tight hug.

The other rat chuckled, "Wrong brother, you must be Verminious. Call me Thad." Snaptrap straightened up, holding the other rat by both shoulders to get a close look. Except for the freckles, Thad looked exactly like a younger version of Phineus. Grinning, Snaptrap led the youngest Rodentius inside. "I brought a Dutch apple pie to make up for not calling ahead," Thad said apologetically as he held up the box he was carrying.

"Sounds delicious! Mina's going to be surprised to see-" Snaptrap was interrupted as Salena, Lucia, Jacinta, and Juanita ran forward calling "BOSE!", thinking the young rat to be their missing employer. Thaddeus was grabbed into a group hug, gasping that it was him and not Finny. Hiding their disappointment, the girls smiled and welcomed him affectionately.

Snaptrap's henchmen, Sissy, Francesca, and Josie came in to see what the commotion was about, followed closely by the remaining guests. "FINNY!" the girls called, rushing forward. Thad hid behind Snaptrap as the older rat held up both hands and shouted, "We've been over this, it's not Finny, it's-"

"THADDEUS!" called Mina from the back of the group, maneuvering around the guests to reach her baby brother. "Of course she gets it right!" Snaptrap smiled as his girlfriend hugged the younger rat, chattering on about how they had not expected him to come.

With everyone who was going to arrive assembled, the company sat down at the large, skull-shaped table to eat dinner. Everyone had brought a dish, but Francesca, the proclaimed best cook in Las Banditas, proudly carved and served the huge turkey she had spent the whole day preparing. Lucia had made extra stuffing. BirdBrain had brought cranberries, real cranberries, not the stuff from the can. The Chameleon had brought a pumpkin pie he swore was not poisoned. Larry and Sissy made the mashed potatoes, Josie had prepared collared greens, and there were various other vegetables and desserts spread before the company. Snaptrap had found some white wine, insisting that everybody be given a glass before he made his announcement. After the guests had eaten dinner and were giving themselves a chance to digest and make room for dessert, the rat stood up, Mina standing beside him.

When he had everyone's attention, he began, "I'm quitting D.O.O.M. and reforming," he paused as some of the other villains gasped in shock (Leather Teddy even spat out the mouthful of wine he had been sipping), "because Mina wouldn't marry me unless I reformed."

The brief pause that followed the last statement was interrupted by the delighted squeals of Sissy and Las Banditas, who all ran over to hug the engaged couple. Ollie, Francisco and Larry smiled, already knowing that Snaptrap had proposed. Chameleon stood up and held his wine glass high, "Oh that's wonderful! Congratulations to the both of you!"

BirdBrain blinked out of his stupour and held up his own glass, "Oh, yes, congratulations." His henchmen applauded before everyone drank the toast.

"Can we see the ring?" asked Zippy, ducking her head to get a glimpse of Mina's finger.

Snaptrap's smile drooped, "Well, I was gonna give her my mom's old ring but-"

A crash was heard through the ceiling. Everybody turned and watched the stairway as Mrs. Snaptrap hustled down the stairs, Matt and Pat close behind her. "What did you do with my ring Verminious?!" she demanded.

Snaptrap held Mina close to him as he answered irately, "I left it in your room, Mom, Mina and I can get married without it!" The female rat nodded before smiling at her future mother-in-law, hugging her fiance back. Mrs. Snaptrap, satisfied that her property was safe, turned and crept slowly up the stairs. Her two oldest children stared at the newly engaged couple in shock. Someone actually wanted to marry their little brother!?

Thad, meanwhile, had been slicing and serving the pies and cookies. Now he smiled and asked, "So when's the wedding?"

Snaptrap and Mina turned back to their guests. "We haven't decided on a date yet," started Mina.

"OOH, OOH, BOSE! Have a Christmas wedding! That would beings such fun!" sighed Salena.

"Naw, pick December sixth! I always pictured myself getting hitched in Vegas on December sixth," said Josie, a dreamy look on her face.

"Isn't that the anniversary of Pearl Harbor?" Lucia asked, looking disgusted.

"Yeah, all that bloodshed!" gushed Josie. Her suggestions were all ignored after that. Everyone began clamoring about when the best date for the wedding would be.

Pat, stirring back into the present, strode over and declared, "You're all trying to schedule the wedding too early. A halfway decent wedding takes months to plan and book."

Sissy turned to her older sister, a mischievous look in her eyes, "Do _you_ want to help plan it, Pat?"

Yes, she did, but she did not want to seem too eager. "I'll have to if you want it done right."


	2. Dudley proposes

The next day was a day off for T.U.F.F. Salena had been thinking about her friends' wedding all night...and about her and Dudley Puppy. She loved him very much, and wanted to marry him, but how could she convince him to marry her? Since leaving Puerto Rico the vixen had heard loads of love stories, and decided the best method would be to show her skills as a potential wife.

Salena packed a brown paper bag and went to Dudley's treehouse. Knocking on the door brought no answer, but Peg Puppy next door opened her window. "Dudley's over here, he's in a food coma after dinner yesterday!" the older dog called to her son's girlfriend.

Salena trotted over to the window. "When I might see him awake?" she asked politely.

"Is that Sal?" called the young dog from upstairs. Without waiting for an answer he tore down to the front door. "Hey, Sal baby!" he greeted suavely. The vixen giggled as he led her inside.

"I bring lunch," she held up the bag. I make you sandwich..."

"Aww, thanks Sal!"

"...with bacon."

"MARRY ME!" the TUFF agent nearly leaped at her as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Salena gasped delightedly. _Easier than I think!_ she thought to herself.

Peg cleared her throat, reminding the two of her presence. Dudley grinned sheepishly, suddenly remembering his mother's reaction when she thought he was marrying Kitty. Peg's face held no readable expressions as she looked at the two younger canines a moment. "Where are you planning to live, that treehouse is no place to raise a family." Dudley frowned, confused and a little insulted. What was wrong with his treehouse.

Salena smiled politely, "I just sign lease for apartment. Is five minute walk from building to work."

"You think you kids will be alright on your own?" the mother continued.

"Yes!" they both answered, Dudley slightly irate his mom was still coddling him.

"How old are you, Salena?"

The vixen squinted one eye shut in thought, "Is eight year since I leave Puerto Rico, and I remember seven year before that."

Peg did a quick calculation in her head before exclaiming, "But that's only fifteen years! You have to be at least eighteen to get married, it's the law!"

Both young canines drooped in defeat until Salena perked up, "Jacinta tell me you see how old someone by their teeth!" Dudley immediately grasped the fox's lower jaw. Salena opened her mouth wide to allow him to look.

Peg allowed herself an amused smile, "A dentist would be able to make a better guess." With that, she walked over to the phone to schedule an appointment with Dr. Fineburg. Dudley shuddered - he hated the dentist!

* * *

On Saturday Dudley and his mom took Salena to see Dr. Fineburg, the TUFF agent whispering encouragingly to his fiance. Dr. Fineburg gave the vixen a thorough cleaning. "You take good care of these chompers!" he complimented as Salena spat out the final rinse.

"So could you tell how old she is?" asked Dudley, who had been covering his eyes the entire time.

"Yes, she's about twenty years old," the dentist answered, marking some things on his clipboard.

"SO WE CAN GET MARRIED THEN!" the dog nearly squealed as he took the fox up in his arms.


	3. Planning with Pat

Friday while Salena was visiting her boyfriend, Pat and Verminious Snaptrap were at the tudor house to iron out some details. They sat in the living room with Mina and Thad, who had spent the night.

"How many guests are you going to invite?" asked Pat, holding a clipboard with a checklist in one hand and a pencil in the other.

"Let's see, Las Banditas and my mother and brother are invited of course, and maybe Chameleon, BirdBrain, Kitty, and whoever Verm invites," Mina counted off her fingers.

"I guess I should invite the whole family, but that's a lot of rats," responded Snaptrap.

"Do you know what kind of venue you want to hold the wedding and the reception?"

"The property around the tudor is big enough, and it would be cheaper that way," grinned Mina.

"CHEAP!? Isn't your dad going to pay for the wedding? The father of the bride usually does," countered Pat. Snaptrap scrunched his eyes shut and grimaced.

Mina crossed her legs and cupped her hands around one knee, looking at the floor. "I'm not exactly sure where my father is right now," she said slowly, "My twin is supposed to be with him..."

"But Mom called last night and said she'd contribute if we could give her an estimate on the total cost," her little brother came to Mina's rescue. "And Mina's said Lucia an' me could play the music."

"Are you a musician?" asked Pat, looking the young rat up and down skeptically. Yesterday he had rode his motorcycle into town, wearing all leather. Today he was in blue jeans and a t-shirt Finny had left behind, a dark blue one with bright orange hems. Not Pat's idea of a musician.

"I play the guitar and the saxophone. I mostly play country music. Lu plays guitar, piano and fiddle."

"Why not get Uncle Burt and Aunt Maria to perform for the wedding," Pat suggested quickly, "and your brother and friend can play at the reception."

Mina and Snaptrap nodded. "Chesca's offered to bake the cake, too. And I can wear my red eveni-" the female rat began before her brother interrupted.

"Whoa whoa no, Mom was sayin' last night she wants y'all to have a traditional weddin', that means a white gown and a diamond."

Snaptrap slumped in embarrassment. Pat had pointed out on the way here that he would need a job if he was going to quit DOOM and reform from being a villain. Also, Mina deserved a diamond ring.

"I only need my wedding band, and the white dress was a trend that some queen started. Beforehand girls just wore their best dress," Mina was countering Thad.

"What about dinner? Are you going to have it catered?" continued Pat, jotting down a few notes on her list.

"I didn't think about it yet, what about you sweetie?" the bride-to-be looked to her fiance.

"I'm pretty partial to seafood," he grinned. "Captain Ahab's Sea Shanty or that sushi restaurant Three Days Ago are yummy."

"Why's a raw fish restaurant called 'Three Days Ago'?" questioned Thaddeus, more to himself than the others.

Pat wrote down the two choices on her list, grimacing slightly at the low-budget preferences. "And have you decided on a date yet?"

Several voices began calling from the upstairs and the kitchen, overlapping in calls of Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's. Mina smiled and looked to Snaptrap, "What do you think, Verm?"

"Well, a New Year, a new start. But lots of people are gonna be having Christmas parties and New Year parties, so let's go with December twenty-eighth." Mina nodded in approval, but Pat muttered about it still being too soon for a decent wedding.


	4. Mother-In-Law

Friday night - Matt had left and Verminious was in bed, allowing Pat to rant to their mother about the sub-par wedding plans her little brother and his bride-to-be had come up with. "COUNTRY MUSIC!" she emphasized, "they want to play _country_ music at their ceremony! Lucky I talked them into inviting Uncle Burt and Aunt Maria to perform for the ceremony. They can have their country music at the reception."

Old Mrs. Snaptrap was not terribly interested in the whole business, but she nodded sympathetically for her daughter.

"And then there's the ring,..."

The older rat interjected, "That reject's not giving _my_ ring to Ms. Mina!"

"No, no," Pat waved her arms, "but he can't afford a diamond ring, and she says she's okay with just the gold band! I've never heard of a girl saying yes without a diamond ring right from the start!"

* * *

The next day Francisco accompanied the two Snaptrap siblings back to the tudor, to calculate a total cost for Mrs. Rodentius. During the drive, the bull gator (A.N. I think that's what male gators are called, correct me if I'm wrong) repeatedly stuck his hand in his pocket, as though to ensure whatever was in there had not fallen out. When the three arrived, Lucia let them in and commented that Francesca was in the kitchen. Francisco went looking for his girl while the weasel led the rats into the living room.

"Thaddeus and I have come up with a list of songs for the reception, Bose," Lucia pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket. "There is country, pop, jazz, oldies, you and Bose pick."

"Thanks, Lu," said Snaptrap, taking the list and looking it over as he sat down on the couch. Pat and Lucia each took a seat in the wooden armchairs either side of the couch. Thad was already in the room, at the far end, tuning a guitar while reclining in an easy chair. Mina came in and sat next to Snaptrap, greeting him and his sister with kisses on the cheek.

After a half-hour of discussion, Francisco teetered into the room dizzily, his face covered in red lip-marks, a goofy smile on his face. "Hm," smirked Lucia, "I didn't know Chesca wore lipstick!" The rats all snickered as they watched the bull gator sink into another easy chair with a happy sigh.

"She said yes," he murmured dazedly. The others straightened up in surprise, turning to look towards the doorway. Francesca stood there bashfully, holding up her left hand in the other. A plastic ring from a gumball machine was on her ring finger. Mina and Lucia jumped up and ran to the female gator's side, embracing her and chattering in Spanish. Jacinta, Juanita and Josie all appeared seemingly from nowhere and joined in the group hug, once in a while a Bandita breaking off to shake Francisco's hand.

Snaptrap walked over to his friend smiling and clapped him on the shoulder, "Congratulations, buddy!" The hedgehog suddenly burst out a string of Spanish, to which Francesca replied no. "What did she say?" Snaptrap whispered loudly to the male alligator.

Francisco had been slowly coming out of his daze, now he straightened up looking slightly embarrassed. "Cinta suggested a double wedding, but I think Chesca and I would prefer to have our own," he explained.

Snaptrap shrugged, "Whatever works for you."

* * *

A short while later, everyone was seated and watching as Mina pulled out her cell phone to call her mother with the estimate for the wedding. Britney Rodentius, most of them knew first-hand, was selfish and stubborn. If the plans did not sound traditional enough to her, she might renege on her promise to contribute. After two rings, the phone picked up and an elderly female voice said, "Hello?"

"Hi Ma, it's Mina. I've got you on speaker," the bride-to-be greeted. Everyone chorused, "Hello, Mrs. Rodentius", even though Mina's parents had been divorced for some time.

"Well," sniffed the older rat, "I suppose the only reason you called was to tell me how much money you need." Mina stifled a groan - she called her mother at least once a month to catch up and had invited her to visit a week ago, but Britney liked to try to guilt her kids. "Is your brother planning to come home anytime soon?" the old rat continued.

"Yeah, Ma, soon," called Thad, "but not today. Traffic's gonna be murder wit' ever'body goin' home."

"Are you sure you're not Finny in disguise?" joked Snaptrap. "You sound just like him." The younger rat grinned amusedly.

"So how much is this marriage going to cost me?" called Britney.

Pat cleared her throat as she looked over her notes, "I've got an estimate of $1003 to pay for catering and a minister. My brother's planning to invite the whole family, the party and ceremony will be at the house, a friend is making the cake, there's no diamond ring, and your daughter's intending to wear her evening dress rather than get a white gown." Snaptrap and Mina both gave Pat a look that was between a glare and dead-pan.

"Young lady," scolded the old lady, "you simply must wear a white dress. Everyone does."

"Yes, Ma," sighed Mina tiredly, figuring her mom would not see her until the wedding and she could bluff and say she had forgotten to go shopping.

"Adjust your total, miss... misss..."

"My name is Pat, I'm Verminious' older sister," she introduced herself as she recalculated the wedding costs. "I'm not sure what your budget for the dress would be, but I suppose you could find a decent secondhand gown for $500 or so."

"I'll give you kids $750 this week," announced Britney before she hung up.

"Hello?" said Mina pointlessly to the dial-tone before putting her phone away.

"That went well," said Josie sarcastically. "Your mama's a real peach!"


	5. Stress

The rest of Saturday was spent making a guest list. Despite not being fond of his family (and the risk that having so many villains in one place might make him change his mind about reforming), Pat insisted Snaptrap invite the whole clan. "Some of them might not even come anyway," she had waved a hand dismissively.

So, around two hundred relatives as well as his former henchmen, Las Banditas, Mina's mother and brother, BirdBrain and his henchmen (and BirdBrain had asked if he might bring his cleaning lady as a date, quickly saying "Don't ask."), the Chameleon, and the TUFF agents were to be invited.

"The TUFF agents!?" Pat looked up from her clipboard, startled.

"Well, Agent Katswell was our friend when we were all kids, and Salena's dating Agent Puppy, and the two of them and the Chief and Keswick have been a big part of my life for a while now. Besides, it might help convince them I'm not going to be a bad guy anymore, so they won't be monitoring me all the time," Snaptrap explained, shrugging. Mina smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder, murmuring that it sounded like a good idea.

Pat shrugged and added the names to her list. "Anyone else you can think of?"

Mina straightened up, looking sad. "I'd like to invite my dad and other brother if we can find them. It's been a while since we've heard from either of them; I hope they're okay," she said quietly.

Thaddeus was adamant about not eating raw fish from a place called Three Days Ago, so the couple went with Captain Ahab's, which was cheaper. They chose red velvet for their cake, and Mina wanted poinsettias for her bouquet since it would be close to Christmastime.

* * *

Upstairs, Jacinta had locked herself away in her "laboratory", which was a vacant bedroom. She fully intended to locate Phineus to tell him about the wedding. She had overheard her boss' conversation with Snaptrap about going to Soweto. Without Finny having his beeper on him or an exact address the hedgehog had no way to trace him, so she was looking up the phone numbers of different shops and businesses in the city and asking the people who answered to keep a lookout and tell him and his father to call home. She even spoke English (something she never usually did) in order to get the message out. Unfortunately, many clerks who answered did not speak English and would not look for a co-worker who did.

* * *

Pat had found a shop to make special invitations for the wedding guests, complete with directions and a "Please R.S.V.P." with matching envelopes. The cost came to about $325 and the invitations would be ready for pickup on Wednesday, which meant if sent out immediately the guests would receive them on Thursday or Friday. Captain Ahab's were called and notified of the catering opportunity and the number of guests, $563. The flowers that Pat wanted to decorate with, including Mina's bouquet, were around $97 total. Then she pointed out things like silverware (they could borrow or use plastic), champagne for the toasts (they could get cheap wine), the bridesmaids' dresses and groomsmen's suits (everyone could wear what they wanted), and the bridal gown.

Mina had been the one to counter Pat's suggestions while Snaptrap sweated about how he would pay for everything, but the dress was where Mina gave up. Her mother, Pat, Lucia, Francesca, and Juanita all declared she should wear white. "I'll go and look Monday," she finally gave in.

Sunday was spent going over Lucia's song list. Snaptrap and Mina circled the songs they liked, but finding their couple's song for their first dance was hard to decide. Several songs were not exactly about getting married, and most of them were not slow dances. "It doesn't have to be a slow dance," said Mina. Her groom-to-be nodded, but they both kept the thought in mind and finally resorted to try playing the songs off the computer to help them choose.

After a few hours of listening they started looking up songs that were not on the list. Another half-hour in Snaptrap perked up on hearing a country song titled "She's With Me." It was not a slow dance, but it was catchy. The rat tapped his foot in time with the music, then stood up and took his fiance by both hands to dance. This was the one, they both thought as they danced and laughed, having a brief moment of relief after all the hassle Pat and the others had been putting them through.

* * *

"HEY RODENTIUS!"

Thad turned to face an angry looking cat stomping over to him on Main Street. She had her hand raised as though she wanted to slap him, then paused and peered closer at his face. "You're not Phineus..." she trailed off.

"Nope, he's my big bro. Name's Thaddeus, just graduated college. Accounting major," he held out his hand politely to shake.

The cat took it hesitantly, then narrowed her eyes again in suspicion. "You're not just saying that, you're not a thief too?" she questioned.

Thad shook his head, "You Finny's girlfriend or somethin'?"

"NO!" she shook her head vigorously, "I'm Kitty Katswell. We were friends when we were kids."

"Oh! You're Kitten!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Sorry."

Kitty sighed, looking off to the side for a moment. "I just got an invitation to your sister's wedding. Not sure if I'll go," she fished for conversation.

"The both of 'em really do want to stop bein' bad, if that's what yer concerned about."

Kitty nodded, still not looking at the rat.


	6. Stress pt 2

Dudley came running up to Kitty's side, pointing an accusing finger at the strange rat as he shouted, "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR...for...Kitty, what are we arresting him for?"

"We're not arresting him Dudley," the cat deadpanned.

"Then why did you run up like you were going to slap him?"

Thaddeus snorted a laugh and held his hand out to the dog, "You Dudley? I know Salena. Name's Thad Rodentius."

Dudley shook the rat's hand enthusiastically, "Want to come to my and Salena's wedding? It'll be on Christmas Eve, that way we can wedding presents one day and Christmas presents the next!" The puppy rubbed his hands together eagerly.

"Greedy, much?" Thad smirked, one eyebrow raised.

* * *

Snaptrap had gone for a walk. He needed to try to clear his head before deciding who his best man would be. Matt had left on Thanksgiving, saying he would come to the wedding, and that was the last his brother had heard from him. Larry...no. He was trying to be nicer, but asking Larry to be his best man would be too much too soon. Finny was not back yet, and Snaptrap did not know Thaddeus that well, yet. That narrowed the choice between Ollie and Francisco, his two best friends. They were both like family to him, loyal and considerate. Pat had asked about a honeymoon, but Francisco planned to get married early on New Year's Eve. If Snaptrap did take a trip, he might not be back for his friend's wedding. Then a thought occured to him. Ollie had not said anything about proposing to Lucia. And the possum was his right-hand man. The rat nodded decisively; he would ask Ollie first.

* * *

Pat, Sissy, the girls of Las Banditas, and Peg Puppy were all taking Mina, Salena and Francesca dress shopping. Jacinta carried a tablet to communicate with Mrs. Rodentius and take pictures of her daughter's dress choices.

The girls swarmed all over the store Pat had led them to, pulling gowns off of racks for their friends to try on. Salena wanted to feel like a princess, so everyone tried to find dresses with poofy skirts for the vixen. Chesca was modest and shy; she wanted a long skirt, sleeves, and a high-cut neckline. Those stipulations were a bit harder to locate in one dress, but they managed to find one or two for the alligator.

Mina was not sure what she wanted, other than something she would be comfortable dancing in. She did not particularly like white clothes, thinking they got dirty quickly. But everyone else was insisting on a traditional dress.

Chesca tried on the two that had been found for her, coming out of the fitting room to get the others' opinions. The one they approved of most had a modest top with elbow-length sleeves and a long skirt which stretched in the back and had a purple drapery effect in the front. Lucia found a thick veil to accompany the gown, which pleased the gator bride.

Salena decided on a ball gown with a lacy bodice and sweetheart neckline, the skirt a shimmery material that seemed to sparkle with magic. Finding a matching veil proved difficult, but eventually Juanita found one the others agreed was nice. It was a headband with a poof of lace resembling a hair bun, trailing down to the middle of the fox's neck.

Mina tried on dresses for hours, not finding anything she liked.

* * *

The next morning, when Josie brought in the mail at the tudor house, there was a small package for Mina. "Hey boss! Your first weddin' gift!" the otter slung the box towards the rat, who caught it after a brief fumble.

The return label was from Snaptrap's house. Opening the box, Mina found an acompanying note; "For you, my dearest Philamina", a heart drawn after her name. Mina smiled blushingly, then gasped in delight. It was a ring! A shining diamond on a silver band, small but elegant. Mina immediatley tried it on; a perfect fit! Oh, that darling -

The handwriting was too neat to be Vermy's, and he never called her "dearest." The ring could not be from him, so who had sent it?

* * *

"No, I didn't send it," Snaptrap confirmed when his fiance came to show him her gift. "You got another admirer?"

"Not to my knowledge," shrugged Mina.

"What are you kids yammering on about?" called Mrs. Snaptrap, tottering into the living room on her walker.

Remembering how stingy his mom had been about her ring, Snaptrap proudly held up his bride's left hand, "Somebody sent Mina an engagement ring! She says the return label was from our house."

"Oh?" the old rat asked innocently, trying not to smile.


	7. Wedding Jitters

Before Thaddeus returned to Petsburgh, he and Lucia had asked Ollie to accompany them on his banjo at the wedding reception, which he gladly accepted. Uncle Burt and Aunt Maria arrived in Petropolis quickly, sharing in Pat's opinion that country music was too lowbrow for a wedding. With Thad video-chatting on Jacinta's tablet, the five musicians rehearsed for three hours every late afternoon. Maria Von Trap Snaptrap was a bit more open-minded than Verminious' other relatives, and she soon began tapping her foot in time to the others' songs.

* * *

Snaptrap was starting to become more anxious. Matt had not been in contact, and half of the relatives that did RSVP said they were only coming because they did not believe Snaptrap could actually woo anyone. No one had sent any gifts, either. And then there was the continued absence of Finny and his dad. Pat also pointed out that Mina had not chosen a dress, and her mother Britney would be coming to pick one out for her.

There was also the matter of living space; Mina and Snaptrap were counting on living at the Tudor, at least temporarily. Josie, Lucia, Francesca, and Jacinta were all still living there. On one hand, Snaptrap was used to having roommates/housemates. On the other hand, it might seem a bit strange to the other girls to have him there when they had settled in the house first. Josie said she did not care who lived where, Francesca and Francisco were planning to get their own place, and the other girls insisted having Snaptrap in the same house was no trouble. It still might be weird, thought the rat, especially if other people start to gossip.

* * *

The Rodentius twins had upheld a tradition to spend holidays and birthdays with their mother when possible. If they could not make the trip to Petsburgh, they would send a card and call her on the actual day. Another tradition, as a consequence, was to celebrate the holiday a few days early or late with Las Banditas. After acquiring jobs, the girls had been working as much as possible to cover the weddings and other expenses. This year they agreed to meet on December 21st, the winter solstice, for their Christmas celebration. Josie hated holidays and only stuck around long enough to get free food and presents. The others would reminisce on childhood memories, exchange gifts, and take turns singing carols. This year, feeling like an adult for the first time, Salena sang a song called "Grown-up Christmas List". Lucia took the opportunity to practice what she had been asked to perform at Sal and Dudley's wedding, "All I Want For Christmas Is You". Juanita encouraged everyone to join her with "Feliz Navidad", which they all never grew bored of.

Jacinta, instead of singing, surprised them all with her gift; "I found your familia, Bose, and they will video-chat to see wedding on 28th." The whole group started to rush forward to hug the hedgehog gratefully, then stopped and shook her hands instead.

* * *

The next day Mina was surprised to see her mother, Thad and Pat all waiting for her outside of the store she was working at when her shift ended. "Ma! What are you doing here?" she greeted nervously.

"Pat tells me you haven't found a dress yet, so I'm going to help you pick one. Excellent greeting, by the way. No 'why hello, mother, how are you, how was your trip?'" the old rat finished sarcastically. Mina tried not to groan out loud as the small group led her to the most expensive dress shop in town. "Now, we are not leaving here without a gown, which I am paying for by the way, so it better be fabulous."

Thad shook his head sympathetically as he and his sister broke away from the other two. "I've got no clue about clothes, I'd just wear T-shirts and jeans alla time if I could," he muttered.

Mina smiled appreciatively, then gasped as something caught her eye. Before taking it off the rack, however, she looked at the price tag. "It's too much," she gasped again, but her little brother reminded her that their mother was paying for it.

Mina modeled the dress for her family. Pat and Thad both lit up on seeing her in it. Britney Rodentius, however, glanced up and down her daughter critically before commanding her to try on the others' choices. None of the other gowns seemed to do the bride any justice, and the three younger rats begged Mrs. Rodentius to accept Mina's choice. To their great relief, she acquiesced.

* * *

It was his last night at his mom's house. Snaptrap was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, when he noticed an envelope and piece of paper in the wastebasket. Pulling it out, he realized it was his mom's credit card bill, and one of the purchases was from a jewelry store. She must have bought the ring, he thought, but why? She was not the only one to be oddly nice to him as his wedding day approached. Pat had admitted she had planned on charging the bride and groom for her services, but changed her mind at the last minute. Larry and Sissy had found and hired a minister to perform the service (well, it was not surprising that Sissy was being nice). Francisco and Ollie had pitched in for decorations. BirdBrain, Chameleon, and Las Banditas had given the couple their combination Christmas-wedding gifts early. And at the last minute, Matt had arrived in his fanciest boat, bringing the other relatives and promising to take the newly weds anywhere they wanted for their honeymoon! It was more kindness than he could have expected. Maybe everything would be okay and he had been worrying for a month for nothing.


	8. I Do

It felt like any other day when Snaptrap woke up at eight in the morning on December twenty-eighth. Looking around the room he shared in his mother's house with Francisco and Ollie, he suddenly remembered he was getting married this afternoon and would never wake in this room again. Francisco was in the bunk above the rat, and Ollie was in his hammock at the other end of the room, both snoring away. Everything calm and peaceful. Snaptrap smiled at how at ease he felt.

Sitting up in his bunk, the rat stretched, popped his back into place, and got out of bed. There was not much hurry to do anything just yet. The ceremony would start at three, and Pat had forbidden him from coming to the Tudor house until at least two o'clock. He had a few hours to get breakfast, eat lunch, get dressed, and pack for the honeymoon. His groomsmen would wait with him. Uncle Burt wanted to go to the Tudor early to get in a few extra hours of practice.

Matt knocked on the bedroom door, "Wakey, wakey, Verminious!" Ollie and Francisco sat up, mumbling and rubbing the sleep out of their eyes.

"Come in, Matt," called Snaptrap. His brother opened the door, accompanied by their cousins Zack, Mad Nat, and Fat Jack.

"Nervous yet, Verm?" Nat grinned maliciously. "Wouldn't blame ya, she's too pretty for you!"

"Thanks for your support," the groom replied in a monotone. Then, much more brightly, "I'm actually feeling really good today."

Jack held up a camera, "I thought I'd get some pictures of you and your men all dressed up, but it seems I'm too early."

Ollie and Francisco, remembering the date, hopped out of bed and rushed past the rats towards the kitchen. They wanted to eat and wash up first so as not to ruin their suits. "They've got the right idea; let's eat!" said Snaptrap, following his friends at an easy pace.

When everyone was eventually dressed, Fat Jack had them pose while he snapped picture after picture. "Stop wasting film, leave some for the wedding!" called Mrs. Snaptrap, wearing a long purple dress and lipstick.

"Hi, Mom! You look nice today!" greeted Snaptrap, walking up to offer his mother his arm. The others were shocked at the pleasant demeanor. They all thought Snaptrap hated his mom! He must be in a _really_ good mood, they all thought.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Tudor, Mina was also taking her time. She had put on her dress and was now wearing a poncho over it while Sissy did her makeup for her, to keep Mina from smearing the immaculately white fabric. Juanita was arranging and rearranging the poinsettias for the bouquet, white and red flowers that did not seem to want to look nice today. Jacinta was outside, setting up her tablet in preparation for Finny and his dad to view the ceremony. Francesca was in the kitchen, putting last minute touches on the cake and pointing things out for the catering crew who bustled in and out with the food Pat and her brother had ordered. Lucia, Thad, Uncle Burt, and Aunt Maria were tuning their instruments. Pat wandered around the property to do a final check on everything. As a precaution against her thieving family, she stationed Josephina to guard the gift table. The otter had sneered at the items listed in the registry and took an interest in the possibility of knocking a few heads today.

* * *

Snaptrap pulled up in the DOOM van around 2:16 and was immediately ushered to the living room, where he would not see the bride. Looking out the window, he waved to the guests as they arrived. Most of them waved back, some of them seemingly puzzled by the rat's bright attitude.

The Snaptrap family was seated at the left side of the aisle, the bride's mother and all their combined friends at the right. Uncle Burt's piano had been stationed behind where the minister would stand, where he now sat playing his own melodies.

Matt, Ollie, Francisco, Larry, Bad Dog, Leather Teddy, and Mole all waited with Snaptrap, anxiously twiddling their thumbs. Lucia, Francesca, Juanita, Jacinta, Josephina, Salena, and Sissy would all be Mina's bridesmaids. A few minutes before three, Pat came in and summoned Verminious and Ollie to come and stand at the "altar". The rest of the men would escort the bridesmaids up the aisle ahead of the bride. In lieu of a ring-bearer and flower girl, Larry and Sissy would bring the wedding rings on some lacy heart-shaped pillows Ollie had found.

It was only when he was standing in front of the guests and the minister that Snaptrap began to feel butterflies in his stomach. But it was not an especially nervous feeling, more like excitement. Uncle Burt played some classical piece as the members of the wedding party began walking towards the front. Larry and Sissy in the lead with the rings, then the gators, then Mole and Juanita, Bad Dog and Josie, Leather Teddy and Jacinta, and finally Matt with Lucia on one arm and Salena on the other.

Uncle Burt began playing "The Wedding March" as everyone turned to face the back. Snaptrap's jaw dropped open. Mina was wearing a silk dress with a skirt that reached her knees, a bit flared out to allow easy movement. The bodice changed to a sort of screen for the neckline and sleeves, decorated with snowflakes. Instead of a veil, the bride wore a silver tiara with glittering snowflakes and icicles in the pattern. White high-heels and silver jewelry. Bright red lipstick and silvery eye shadow. The Chief of TUFF had allowed Jacinta to borrow his moving screen, remote controlling it with an image of Philip Rodentius, Mina's father, at her side.

Snaptrap and Mina smiled at each other as their eyes met, never moving their gazes as the bride came up the aisle. The groom took her hand as she handed her bouquet to the maid-of-honor (Lucia).

Snaptrap was so enraptured that it seemed like no time had passed when he realized the minister had asked, "Do you, Verminious Snaptrap, take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?"

"I do," he answered in confidence. The rat could feel his chest swell with love and pride as Mina's smile grew.

"Do you, Philamina Rodentius, take this man as your lawfully wedded husband, in good times and in bad, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do," the rat sighed lovingly, making her groom sigh as well. Larry and Sissy offered up the rings, which Snaptrap and Mina placed on each other's fingers.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," proclaimed the minister. Snaptrap did not bother to wait for the invitation to kiss his bride. Everybody on the right side of the aisle began cheering while the Snaptrap family clapped politely.

* * *

The dinner was held inside. No one made any toasts, but Salena and Dudley insisted on starting the tapping of the glasses, causing the newlyweds to kiss. The cake Francesca had baked was delicious, red velvet with buttercream filling. After the food was gone, everyone filed back to the front lawn for the dancing.

Where the minister had stood, a platform had been placed as a stage for the musicians. Pat had managed to rent three microphone stands and a couple of speakers to help amplify the sound. Thaddeus, holding his guitar, announced as the guests appeared, "For their first dance, Mr. and Mrs. Verminious Snaptrap!" Ollie held his banjo and Lucia a fiddle as they accompanied Thad.

 _When the devil's knocking at my door_

 _when I'm broken and I'm battle-worn_

 _anyone else would up and leave_

 _but she's, yeah she's with me_

 _Ain't she amazing, mazing_

 _out of my league_

 _and ain't it crazy, crazy_

 _she happened to me_

 _she calls me baby, baby_

 _hard to believe_

 _that she's, yeah she's with me!_

Snaptrap and Mina danced in front of the stage, everyone cheering and clapping as they formed a circle around the "dance floor".

 _When my dreams are running out of road_

 _and the world around me's turning cold_

 _climbing the valley on my knees_

 _yeah she's, yeah she's with me_

During the second chorus, the bride and groom gestured with nods of their heads for their friends to join in the dance. Sissy grabbed Larry to sway alongside her brother and new sister-in-law. Salena and Dudley, Francisco and Francesca, Juanita and Bat (whom she had married on Halloween), and Matt and Pat were all quick to join in.

 _Top of the mountain, all the way down_

 _when I'm lost and when I'm found_

 _In the day, in the night, in the dark, in the light_

 _when I know what's wrong, when I know what's right_

 _Whoa-oh, I don't know what I'd do without her_

 _Whoa-oh, she's gotta know I'm all about her_

 _She's amazing, mazing_

 _Ain't she amazing, mazing? Yeah_

During the third chorus, BirdBrain's cleaning lady Desiree led him onto the dance floor among other couples, although she seemed distracted by the musicians. Or rather, the singer. After the first song, the band played a jazzy tune called "Let's Face the Music and Dance", followed by what Thad claimed was his and his siblings' favorite, "Faith". Finny and Philip had long ago had to log out of the library computer they were borrowing, but before they left they had promised to write and return home as soon as possible.

After the third song, Snaptrap and Mina had to take a break from dancing. BirdBrain broke away from his date to congratulate his friends and apologize for bringing an unexpected guest. "She's worked for me a long time and by Thanksgiving was rather miffed I never invite her anywhere. Seems she has no family or friends and just sits at home for holidays."

"No friends," repeated Snaptrap with a smirk, "she seems to like Thad just fine!" BirdBrain turned to look; Desiree, a white mouse about Kitty and Mina's height with brown hair and eyes, was standing at the foot of the stage. Thaddeus, when he noticed her, broke into a broad grin, turned and said something to the other musicans. They smiled and nodded, stepping back from the microphones as the young rat turned back and strummed his guitar, looking directly at Desiree.

 _It was the fourteenth of October_

 _had that t-shirt off your shoulder_

 _I walked up, said I was sober_

 _and you said "Yeah, right"_

 _We talked there for a minute_

 _then some guy tried to cut in_

 _you took my hand and we pretended_

 _like I was your guy_

 _Whoa, then I tried to guess your middle name_

 _for thirty minutes, bet we played that game_

 _That mango-rita you were drinking_

 _and that coldplay song that you were singing_

 _and I bet right now you're prob'ly thinking_

 _that it's crazy I remember every detail, but I do_

 _from your blue jeans to your shoes_

 _girl that night was just like you_

 _Unforgettable_

Mina smiled, watching the younger couple as they seemed to block out everything around them. "I've never seen Thad so focused on a girl before. She must have made an impression on him!" she murmured to her husband.

For the rest of the party Desiree stayed close to Thad, who would come down to dance with her when he did not have a part in a song.

Eventually, some guests began to leave. Snaptrap and Mina cued to Matt that they were ready to go. The remaining people waved as Bad Dog drove the three rats to the docks where Matt's boat was anchored. "To Maui," Matt answered the helmsman when asked where they were going.


	9. Epilogue

It was late February. Ollie and Lucia, real name Ellen, had been married on Valentine's Day and were now returning from their honeymoon. Juanita and Bat were expecting a child, the mother starting to show. Salena had just told Dudley she was pregnant.

Snaptrap entered the Tudor after a long day of job hunting. Mina's job at the grocery store did not provide health coverage and was low-paying, and the rat wanted something to occupy all his new free time. As soon as he came into the house, he heard a retching noise from upstairs.

Entering the bathroom, he saw his wife on the floor, hunched over the toilet, as Jacinta rubbed her back comfortingly. Snaptrap strode over and squeezed Mina's shoulder, "You've been getting sick for a week, we should get you to a doctor."

"Maybe," the female rat muttered as her stomach settled.

"Bebe."

"What'd ya call me?" asked Snaptrap, turning to the hedgehog. She and Josie were the last of the Banditas still living in the house with him and Mina, and the hog still refused to speak English, letting out a stream of Spanish instead.

"She's suggesting I might be having a baby," translated Mina, the thought seeming incredible to her.

Snaptrap began smiling; he liked kids! "How can we be sure?" he asked.

Jacinta pulled a box from among her quills and handed it to the rats before leaving the room. Snaptrap read the instructions as Mina shakily got to her feet and began rinsing out her mouth at the sink. "EW! You gotta pee in this thing?!" the new husband scrunched his nose.

Mina shooed him out as she took the box. Minutes later, Snaptrap was pacing in front of the bathroom door. His prowling disturbed Josie, who opened her bedroom door and called, "Either yer havin' brats or yer not, now lemme sleep!" The otter slammed her door and fell quiet. Jacinta stood at the doorway of her own room, watching.

Suddenly the handle of the bathroom door jiggled as Mina struggled to open it, rushing out and throwing her arms around her husband's neck. "Positive!" she gasped delightedly. Snaptrap broke into a broad grin, kissing her lips, cheeks, nose, anything he could reach.

"BEBE BEBE BEBE BEBE!" squealed Jacinta, hopping up and down in a circle before Josie hollered for everyone to keep the noise down.

* * *

March first. Snaptrap was in the kitchen, reading the want ads in the newspaper, when Mina came down with a serious expression on her face. "I just checked my calender, it's been a year since Finny disappeared. I said I'd go after him if he wasn't back by now," she reminded him.

Snaptrap pulled an aged piece of paper from his pocket as he came over to stand in front of Mina. "He told me where he was going, not an exact address..."

"I figured as much."

"It's a dangerous neighborhood, let me go. I'll bring them both back."

"Not alone, you're not!"

"Don't worry," he winked, "I know just the guys to call."

Dudley Puppy refused to leave his wife's side while she was expecting, but Finny Rodentius was an old friend of Kitty's and the Chief and Keswick had never been to Africa before. Most of the guys from DOOM and Lucia were also fond of Finny and volunteered to come.

BirdBrain and the Chameleon had expected Snaptrap and the thief he had married to revert to their criminal ways by now, and what was all this business about going to Africa? BirdBrain gassed up his WhirlyBird, never noticing when the Chameleon disguised as a fly snuck in among his henchmen.


End file.
